Fury As Pregnant Woman Demands Stepsister Helps With House Deposit

A 29-year-old woman has been supported online for refusing to give her stepsister $25,000 for a deposit on a home. In the post user 692MPLMN asked if she was the a****** “for refusing to help my stepsister with her house purchase and telling her and my stepfather that it’s because of how they treated me as a child?”

The Reddit user describes how when she was 10, “my mom married my stepfather. I have an older brother Luke who was 15. My stepfather had Amy and Ada who were 12 and 11.” The original poster (OP) explained that her mother and stepfather never combined finances, and “would each contribute equally to the household, and then each takes care of their children with their spare money. So my mum never had anything for us, and my stepfather was spending big on his kids.”

She describes how she and her brother were excluded from holidays, shared a room while the others had their own, and were constantly teased by their stepsiblings.

According to statistics from the U.S Bureau of Census 1,300 new stepfamilies are formed every day in the U.S and over 50 percent of families are either re-married or re-coupled.

Deciding to become self-sufficient early, the OP explains that she and her brother “have both done quite well with our careers and finances and we are in a very good place.”

During a recent visit to her mom and stepfather, he revealed that the OP’s stepsister Amy wanted to buy a house now that she was pregnant. “He was asking if Luke and I can help cover the extra £50k and he said he’d pay us back as part of the inheritance eventually.”

“I said no…He insisted that we should be willing to help out our family if we’re able to, I replied back ‘like how you helped me and Luke when we were kids?'”

The OP then describes how her stepfather expressed remorse for how he treated them when they were young. “My mum later told me I could have turned him down without being an a****** or bringing up childhood which he already feels guilty about. AITA?”

One user — who commented, “Absolutely NTA. And I think you did turn him down without bringing up your childhood, but he kept pressuring you, so it’s totally understandable that you told the truth” — got 36,700 uplikes.

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A young woman on Reddit has been supported for refusing to lend 25,000 to her stepsister to buy a house.
AlbertPego/Getty Images

Newsweek spoke to Ruth E. Freeman, LCSW, founder and president of Peace at Home Parenting Solutions, about this challenging situation.

“The family arrangement in which this young woman grew up sounds daunting,” she says. “It’s hard to imagine how, as a child, she would make sense of the differences in the way she and her brother were being treated from their stepsiblings. Excluding them from the family holidays sounds particularly unkind. I believe this Reddit user has every right to let their stepfather and mother know how they felt about those differences.

“The upside is that the stepfather at least expressed regret about his choices back then. Unfortunately he is doing so while asking for money, which honestly, seems particularly outrageous in light of his parenting of the young children. I also find it strange that the stepsister hasn’t asked for the loan herself.

“Families work better when there aren’t third parties involved in communications. It sounds to me like this woman has calmly risen above their unfair treatment as a child and perhaps has recognized that perhaps not being treated fairly as a child has helped them develop ambition and habits or hard work and resilience, and become successful. These are the gifts that your mother and stepfather inadvertently bestowed. Interestingly, the stepsister doesn’t seem to have benefitted quite as much from her royal treatment.”

Reddit users supported the OP.

Residentcaprice said, “I don’t think he feels guilty. He only regrets treating you guys badly now that you and Luke have turned out successful. Edit: thank you for the awards!”

User OffKira said, “I think he’s like, Whelp I didn’t think these would be the consequences of my actions, dang it. Mom is no prize either, still showing who she really cares about.”

User False_Love773 added, “Going on vacations without your children is the only explanation one needs to know what kind of Mother this is. There is no justifying that. No sympathy for that. No understanding for that. Nope.. nothing.”

Newsweek has reached out to u/692MPLMN for comment.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

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